As I write this entry, I'm sitting right next to her bed. I can't get any closer to her, as I'm not able to hold her for about the next 3 days, or until her chest tubes come out. She continues to receive Morphine every two hours, but Miss Maddie is begging for more. She has been constantly moaning and whimperimg all day. Her nurse (who has done such a wonderful job) has assured me, many times, that her pain is being managed; Madison is simply old enough to realize that this isn't fun. I just wish she would go to sleep. I have tried everything; holding her hand, holding her body, talking and singing (no laughing at the singing part), ignoring with hopes that she would fall asleep. (I'm not good at the ignoring part, so I didn't try it often)
Timeout: I think we just figured it out.. Maddie can finally start eating. We just tried apple juice, which she grabbed out of my hand and gulped down. I'm sure she has been thirsty this entire time, especially due to her respirator. That can definitely cause a sore, scratchy throat. We tried 2 oz. of apple juice. We waited a little while to make sure it stayed down. I then offered Maddie a bottle of formula and she happily drank 6 oz. She is now sleeping and I'm a very happy mom.
Today has been a day of 'fine-tuning' and trying to meet Madison's specific needs. We've had a few bumps in the road, but that's to be expected. Madison is currently on 12 medications. As you can see from the picture below, I'm making sure that I get my fix as well.
In regards to her respirator, it came out today around 12:00pm. (yeah!) Plan A is ICU for about 4 days, then to the floor, and maybe home before Christmas. This plan is if everything goes perfect. We may have some setbacks and I should probably prepare myself for that. It really doesn't matter how long we are here... we have a healthy baby girl who now has a perfect heart. It can't get any better than that.
While sitting next to Maddie's bedside, I've had some time to reminisce over yesterday. I look back to the pictures of Maddie just before her surgery and I instantly start to cry. I can still feel those exact feelings of being so scared for her. The thought of a transplant surgery terrified me. It still does and the surgery is over. Yet while she was in surgery I found myself calm and under control. My personal prayers were definitely being answered. I felt comfortable with our surgeon and his abilities. I simply knew she would be ok.
There are also many people who supported us and I personally thank them.
Our Donor Family: How does a mom begin to thank you for giving such a sacred gift to her little girl? Thank you. I love you and I'm so sorry. I've been thinking about this family for a couple months (since Maddie was first listed). I have much admiration for them and admire their strength and courage in allowing their baby to be a donor. What a wonderful gift during this Christmas season; The Gift of Life. Because of their decision, our baby girl was given another chance in life. Thank you. God be with you till we meet. I hope we will meet soon.
Dr. AK: You preformed another miracle. Thank you for recognizing your gift in life and becoming perfect at it. Your abilities amaze me. Thank you for taking such good care of my little girl. I felt so comfortable while she was in surgery knowing that you were operating on her.
Dr. Everitt: Thank you for recognizing a nagging feeling and acting upon it. Because of your nagging feeling, we have our little girl. It was so good to see you after surgery and the enormous smile on your face. You are an amazing doctor and we love having you as our doctor.
Diamond Rental: You have shown an enormous amount of support since the beginning. Thank you for going above and beyond for our family. Madison's tree at The Festival of Trees is beautiful. Mark and I love you and appreciate you.
Our dear friends Larry and Trina: Oh my gosh! Thank you for purchasing Maddie's tree and giving it to us. It is an amazing gift and means so much to Mark and I. The tree symbolizes love, exactly what the heart symbolizes. And was purchased on the day that Maddie received news of her new heart. I love that we will always have this tree. Thank you. Mark and I love you.
Friends and Family: Thank you for coming last night. Thank you for your love and support. Thank you for caring so much for our little family. It meant so much to our little family.